Last week everything was going so well. I was walking my 10,oo0 steps a day, work was getting into a good groove, and I was feeling (dare I say it?) happy. Things were finally starting to fall into place with my work routine, I started the walking-with-pedometer obsession, and things were going pretty well.
Then I went to routine check up last Thursday afternoon, only to be told that two of the moles on my back had to come off, like, "right then." Being terrified of needles and scalpels didn't help (although who's NOT terrified of those things?) but most of all, I just wasn't psychologically prepared to be getting surgery that day, even if it was outpatient surgery.
So I was brave, and I let them go ahead with the surgery. The shots numbed the pain, but I will tell you that there is NOTHING more creepy than feeling a doctor dig into your flesh with a scalpel, it's beyond a nightmare. In addition, although I didn't feel it at the time, the local anesthesia in my back wore off within a couple of hours, and I was in a whole lot of pain. The doctor didn't give me a pain med prescription, for that matter, he didn't give me much advice on taking care of my wounds whatsoever.
Either way, what felt like the longest two hours of my life finally ended and we got to go home. For about two days, the wounds were still really painful, and just in the last day or two, it's been a little better. I still have the stitches for another week and a half though.
So anyway, the point is, all it took for me to fall off the exercise wagon and fall off track in general toward making positive life changes was this unexpected surgery. Being in pain makes it hard to focus on anything else, but now that the pain has lessened, morale is still just really low. I still have to get the biopsy results of those first two moles, which is very nerve-wracking, and then as soon as I get the stitches out from the first two moles, I have to get another one taken off, which is bigger and will require a more in-depth surgical procedure.
How does anyone ever succeed in life with goals and aspirations when life is full of these kinds of obstacles? It's the really resilient people who succeed. The people who don't let anyone or anything get them down. I wish I was that kind of person. I want to be. But life can be hard sometimes. :(
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2 comments:
Hi Jeneka,
Remember me, Diane, the one who is living your parallel life? It's getting REALLY unbelievable now. I was browsing through some of the blogs on my blog roll when I decided to look at yours because of the title (it explains my week to the tee). I guess it should be no surprise that you are going through the identical situation as me this week. If anyone can empathize with you it's me. I, too, went in for a routine checkup Tuesday when they found two moles that needed to come off right away. I returned Thursday after my referral and had them removed (possible melanoma). I too am sore and have stitches. I TOO have to wait for the biopsy results, and it is so stressful and nerve-wracking--it's up to a two-week wait! It's downright scary! I know exactly how you're feeling! One minute everything's fine, the next minute you're reviewing your whole life! For two people who have never even met, it's uncanny how parallel our lives are. I still want to meet you if you're ever in San Diego!!! Anyway, chin up! Stay positive and try not to think about it too much until you find out. That's what I'm trying to do. I'll say a prayer for us that we're both okay!
Hi Diane,
Wow, that's pretty unbelievable. I hope that everything turns out ok for you. I did get my results this past week, and they are recommending that I get another biopsy as an extra precaution, but I'm not going to because I feel that they already took enough the first time. (The two moles and surrounding area, plus quite deep below the surface of the mole.) I still have my stitches, and am still healing from the first biopsy. I hope everything turns out ok for you, please feel free to write to me at: yeni.sanford@gmail.com anytime.
Jeneka
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